Unbearable Decay

by Some Desperate Glory

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Recorded and mixed at Some Desperate Studio, Berkeley, California.

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released December 10, 2010

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Track Name: Always Fighting the Last War
You'd think I'd know by now
You'd think that I would learn
Still I fall to pieces
Still my nerves burn

I remember mistakes
Replayed step-by-step
My foolhardy hope
All my promises kept

It feels to me
Like I've been here before
Why am I always fighting
The last war?

I need to let go
Not settle any score
Why am I always fighting
The last war?

Emptiness
I've tried hard to keep at bay
I feel like I'm falling
Almost every day

Like a zombie
Not quite dead
I can't disconnect
From the words that were said

Emptiness
Track Name: 1984
You woke up and saw bright light
You you you you don't know what happened last time
Thousand eyes inspect if you're right
Your brave experiment last night

You won't accept the mighty thoughts
You fought against them all
Der Eingriff wird auch Dich befreien
Stark und willig, ahnungslos

You'll never sail against the wind
You will ever trust the lords
Gelenkt, geformt, völlig eingereiht
In der Garde der Frustration

Now you've got a real clean wive
She's made to control your life
Cameras attend at your side
No mistakes at any price
Track Name: Absolute Zero
My lips are blue
My eyes are too
But I'm only
Thinking of you

Mistakes we made
Orders we obeyed
But the reasons
Start to fade

Absolute Zero
We can't go farther down
We pretend that we're deaf
So we won't hear the sound

Absolute Zero
We can't go farther down
Can't feel the vibrations
When we listen to the ground

I hold my breath
But it hurts so bad
Have you ever
Felt like you've been had?

All of our plans
Have gone up in smoke
But no one let us
In on the joke
Track Name: Life is Pain
Doesn't matter if you're starving
Or you live up in the hills
Doesn't matter if you're broke
Or you can pay up all your bills

Life is Pain
All that will remain

Wrap yourself in silk and cotton
You're still rotten at the core
You know that you have had enough
Yet all you want is more

Memories start piling up
That you cannot deny
You could never be whole again
If you had the strength to try
Track Name: Failure
I sat down to think
About the world and why am I here?
Not “This sentence is wrong” undergraduate tripe
But questions that were humble and sincere

To give of yourself
So naively, so completely
To be poisoned
So slowly, and so sweetly

Sometimes I feel like a failure
I have no more hope
Sometimes I feel like a failure
You can't push a rope

To be broken brick by brick
Without a fight
To be melted down, assayed, found wanting
And set alight

So many questions
Left answered
I seriously soul searched and I found
Nothing

Sometimes I feel like a failure
I have no more hope
Sometimes I feel like a failure
You can't push a rope

Sometimes I feel like a failure
My castles built on sand
Sometimes I feel like a failure
I think you understand
Track Name: Empty Clip
Last night I confronted
The demons that haunt me
With a Glock 17
I was finally free

I destroyed fear
And I destroyed doubt
I killed regret
Before my bullets were out

With my finger on the trigger
I stood up to the abuse
Every shot
Loosening the noose

You may find this surprising
So I guess I'll just let it slip
The key to happiness
Is an empty clip

You must honestly
Assess your mistakes
Take direct, specific action
With every shot you take

Say goodbye to hate
And insecurity
These things are now so
Foreign to me
Track Name: We Are Not Fools
Complexity greater than
The models you possess
Truth stranger than
The lies that you confess

Your powers
Borne out in weakness and greed
Hypocrisy
Your true undying creed

We are not fools
But we continue to ask
Questions
We could not possibly grasp

We are not fools
But we put our trust
In the illusion of intention
At some point, we must

I am just a stranger
I am just passing through
You are destined to forget me
Whatever I do

Dress me up in silver
Clad me up in gold
I've been here for too long
And I just feel cold
Track Name: Kudzu Jesus
Oh Kudzu Jesus
I just do not understand
The tracks in your arms

Oh Kudzu Jesus
Why won't you tell me your plan?
Will I come to harm?

Oh Kudzu Jesus
You know I've come to be saved
Yet you turn your back

Oh Kudzu Jesus
My unbearable decay
The faith that I lack

The Kudzu Jesus
All alone in Boylan Heights
Watching trains go by

The Kudzu Jesus
Did what He could to please us
But we let him die
Track Name: Quiet Trauma
People say sticks and stones will break my bones
But words will never hurt me
They haven't heard the words I have heard
Open my ribs to reach my heart my directly

This is a quiet trauma
Can't be seen from the outside
It is emotional violence
And I think my heart has died

Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel so numb
I can't feel anger and I can't joy
Sometimes the rage bubbles up
And I just want to destroy

Words can be so subtle
Like a virus slipped under you skin
It spreads so slowly
You don't even notice as it starts to begin

It changes you
From your very core
A drowning man
So far from shore
Track Name: I Don't Believe
You know that I've been high
You know that I've been low
You know I've been reluctant
To let my feelings show

You know it took me so long
To finally understand the truth
I see things more clearly now
As I walk away from youth

I don't believe
In anything I don't see
But you believe
In me

We have to write our own tale
We have to succeed, we have to fail
We have to accept that sometimes
We will taste betrayal

What is the reason?
There is none
Then what is the point?
There is none
There's just nothing
Nothing except love
Track Name: Somewhere That is Else
I know you're trying to be helpful
When you say all my relationships go wrong
But it isn't really so bad
Cause that's how I research my songs

You say that I'm worth more than this
You know I'm inclined to agree
But sometimes it can be so hard
Not to believe just what you see

I want to be
I just want to be
I want to be
Somewhere that is else

Her words were cruel beyond belief
I felt the blood rush into my head
She could not have been more wrong
When she said I was emotionally dead

There is trouble
Heading my way
Though I may scream at the sky
I will do what I say